I write this compromised. Mentally, compromised. Beer in hand, shaking my head as I write this. I’ve been backsliding in my practices lately, not meditating or exercising as much. Ya know, letting the little things slide. I catch myself having a midday cookie snack, I catch myself on noon Saturday with an alcoholic beverage in hand. Not being mindful, letting the flash of thoughts dictate my future actions. Yes, just generally backsliding in my practice of ongoing and developing awareness. Am I really going to be able to follow through with this? A year? Can I go that hardcore, for that loooooong? I have my doubts but I know that regardless I will come out the other side better. One way or the other.
So here we go. Deep breath.
Lets lay down the ground rules, or at least outline this thing. Or maybe both.
So what does this entail? What is living spiritually and can this be intertwined with trading?
My simple 1 line definition of spirituality in this context is: the dedication to growth in self awareness. Simple and short but can be unpackaged to the infinite. Anyone who knows how powerful two words like “Just Tree” can be, knows what I speak of. Its just the dedication to personal growth alone and in general is spirituality in a nutshell. Here’s the wikipedia definition on spirituality, you define it man.
Now if you’ve been trading for even a month, you’ll see pretty quickly how this ties in and could easily intertwine with trading. If you are a mentally balanced and in control trader, you probably possess a lot of the qualities of a great master. You live in the now, you have no expectations, you sit back in the seat of self and examine the bubbling thoughts and emotions. If I told you that when I trade my best and am in the “flow” of things…the previous sentence is the mental characteristics that I possess. Now the big question for me is: Can I do a better job at retaining this and getting to this state even more consistently? If what I’m doing in this limited capacity is working, what happens if fully fully dive in the deep end?
This entails, as close to a monk’s life as I can get. I’ve watched a ton of videos and did some research on a monk’s life. I’m fairly certain I will pale in comparison to someone of that spiritual caliber. This endeavor is meant no disrespect for real monks and real people of discipline. I’m truly a poser, trying to live in their shadows. What this will be all about is going to be striving to prioritize my trading process within every faucet of my life. Even my rest periods will be planned and maximized to gain insight into trading and/or some sort of spiritual growth. I view trading and spiritually as two equally important elements that I’m constantly trying to forge and make it as sharp and expansive as possible.
So what would a monk do and how would a trading monk live? Obviously, I cant faithfully and to its fullest be able to satisfy this. I have a wife, a 5 year old that is home way too often (this fall will change when she starts kindy) and golden retriever puppy that never stops causing trouble. I’m not going to be able to turn things off completely, I’m not going to be able to meditate for 3 hour chunks. Maybe I can arrange something hardcore in the future if this thing really takes off, but for practical reasons I cant self isolate.
I can however abstain from drinking alcohol and other vices (caffeine, vape, sweets, video games, Netflix, scrolling news, etc). This in and of itself is where most of my doubts lie actually. Many of those line items above are serious afflictions for me and to fully kick some of them is going to be really difficult. I’m prepared to implement the 12 step program for basically any one of these bad habits that I’ve developed over time.
Another rule is I need to exercise everyday, 30 minutes a day. I need to do chores consistently and religiously. Sweeping, laundry and doing mundane chores like making the bed is something that ties in with creating positive habits and constantly tending that garden. This shouldn’t be too hard, I do this pretty well already.
I need to meditate, 3 times a day for 15 minutes. I need to recite my mantras/reminders, twice a day. I’ll have my trade times, couple hours in the morning and a couple hours up through closing. I have my trade study time (1 hour of videos, reading, review) and the rest of the available work time will be dedicated to this site and other similar projects. Weekends will be tough for me, this is when I tend to drink or play video games or general debauchery. I will need to stay super busy during the weekends, and just time off in general. This is where a rigorous scheduled continued through the weekends like exercising, meditating, study and writing will come in.
How will I survive Holidays, outings with friends and the occasional date night where I’m almost expected to kick back a have a beer? This is going to be a big hang up, probably not my friends and family so much as myself though. All i have to do is remind or mention what I’m doing, they wont care. Nobody has a gun to my head saying “have a drink of vodka man, drink it!”. Its just going to be weird and different mostly for me. To not have a drink during Thanksgiving, not sharing a bottle of wine with the Mrs (actually, she miiiiiight not like this part of it now that I’m thinking). I think thats it though, its all in my head, right?
At the end of the day though, I’d be living a purer life and if I lived a more growth focused life, then i’d be doing better with my trading…right? Thats the thought process here people, healthier cleaner life-healthier more consistent and sharper trader/blogger/trade coach. Oh and not to mention, a better person in general, a better husband and a better father. This is going to be ongoing, I plan to do this for at least 1 entire year.I will have to figure it out as I go, but I’m going to just document and keep note of what I’m experiencing.
I’m going to try my best to be humble through this process. I’m going to be real, I’m going to be honest. Pretty nervous about this project, it’s a long and involved one. Consistency though, thats what I’m after. Consistency with this schedule, with these plans of active growth. I believe that if I find consistency in myself and my spiritual/mental/awareness/mindfulness development than it will most certainly leak into everything else in my life and my future.
Taking a deep breath, here comes the big plunge.
Running Updates
3/23/2022
First week has been going really well. In spite of having a nasty, nagging bastard of a cold. Still meditating 3 times a day. Mantras twice a day. Been running a lot (it helps that I have a big doctor appointment in a week and I don’t want to be too pudgy). No smoking, no drinking. My trading has been solid, nothing to write home about but I feel consistent in my overall mood and attitude. This endeavor really helps when things have just been so busy, I haven’t had the time to get distracted or give in temptations. Maybe thats the key, the trick to all of this. Just stay organized with your time and schedule. Fill it with top priority “to do’s”, making sure to devote time to relaxation with family and friends. Now the big question is, can I sustain this? Stay tuned!
4/3/2022
Well, not so great. I’m going to be honest, really really trying to be honest anyways. I did drink and smoke a bit this weekend. It was our 9th anniversary, the Mrs. and I celebrated with a night out on the town. It was well needed, a long over due. Yes, I gave in a partied it up a bit. Ate foods I shouldn’t have (fried calamari and yummy sinful french fries) and drank quite a lot. What can I say?
I’m not perfect and I’m a sinner. I accept full responsibility. It of course is a slippery slope, so my goal for next week is to get myself just back on track. Gotta get my mind right, even after a day or two of backsliding I can see it just get easier to make excuses and let the little things start to slide within my mind. Weekends are going to be really tough, I can already tell. Next week’s focus is to get right again!
4/9/2022
Back on track! <mostly> I slipped up in my practices towards the end of the week. And lo’ and behold I had a bad trading day at the tail end of the week. Prior to that, I had probably the best week trading of the entire year. It’s so crazy how my schedule and routine ties in with how well I produce with my trades. I have to live a traders life, basically 24/7 it seems. Anyways, I’m looking at the positive silver linings, there was a of good that I can take away from this week. Much better than last week.
4/22/2022
I’ve had the best trading of the year these last two weeks. I’m 99% on track. Still that elusive 1% thats hovering above, reminding me I’m not quite there yet. Even though my trading is on point, my discipline with my trading rules/guidelines has been excellent. Yes, even though this is all going really well…I still find myself slipping into bad habits when temptations present itself. I had friends come over and stay at our place for a while, I gave in and cut loose. Drank a bit and goofed around. What can I say? I’m not perfect, I’m still a work in progress.
